Daily Wisdom From John Stiemke

Wisdom for Today Tuesday July 25, 2006
Gone are the days when I beat myself up. Lost is the self-hatred. How does one go from self-loathing to actually loving self and others? When did this actually occur? Somewhere in the recovery process, I stopped doing all those things, which completely violated my values. I stopped doing that which my conscience knew was wrong. This is not to say that I still don’t make mistakes. I am human. But I no longer need to destroy my life and hurt others for my own selfish gain. I no longer need to get out a big stick and beat myself over the head. I no longer have to ask myself why I was so stupid. I no longer need to walk in absolute shame.
I cannot fully explain what it is like to lose this need to hate myself and actually care again. This is the miracle called recovery. You see, recovery is not just about simple abstinence. The program teaches me so much more. I have been able to sort through the piles of “yuk” in my life and find that which is truly important. I have learned to operate within my values. I have learned to admit the mistakes I make and work to change my behavior so as not to repeat destructive patterns. I have developed a sense of right and wrong and a desire to do the next right thing. I no longer need to put myself down and abuse myself. I have learned to accept my humanity. Have I lost my self-hatred?
Meditations for the Heart
Values and virtues are things we do not often speak of, but they are of utmost importance to the recovering addict and alcoholic. Values are the things we hold dear. They define what is important and where we invest our time and energy. If I value my recovery I will invest time and energy into it. The same is true with family, a spiritual life, work, self-care and our relationships with others. Virtues on the other hand determine how we go about living our lives. The program teaches us many virtues such as honesty, courage, wisdom and many others. We discover that we do not need to live in a manner of self-deceit, dishonesty, fear and stupidity. We find that we can develop healthy values and virtues. Recovery and the steps and traditions teach us how to live. Am I developing a healthy set of values and virtues?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Once again this morning I can look in the mirror. There was a time that I could not do this. I avoided looking at myself because I did not want to see what was there. I am grateful for this ability to see myself and accept myself again. Thank You for this new vision not only of who I am, but also who I can become. Help me this day to use my values as a guide for living. Teach me to use the virtues of the program in my daily life.
Amen.